


Baby, This Blows Them All Away

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-16
Updated: 2011-11-15
Packaged: 2018-09-06 17:07:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8761744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Jensen has a problem, in fact, maybe he has more than one.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** Set toward the end of Season 2, no spoilers for any episodes. This is the first J2 fic I ever wrote. It's one of my favorite genres, hurt/comfort. I posted it on LJ back in March of this year. Everyone has been so kind to me, I wanted to share it here. Hope y'all like it.

  
Author's notes: Jensen's POV  


* * *

Jensen slaps his hand at his alarm, fumbles a moment before he finally gets it to shut the fuck up. He is not a morning person in any way, shape, or form, but he doesn’t ignore his alarm – hasn’t for the most part since he was in high school. Alarms mean obligation and that’s something Jensen can’t afford to blow off for more than one reason. There’s an early call this morning, which is why he’d begged off going over to Jared’s last night – he wouldn’t have gotten any sleep over there.

 

He blinks his eyes open and the world is blurry, as usual but also – double. What the fuck? He closes his eyes, rubs them and opens them again. Shit, no change. He thinks back to last night, trying to remember if he took his contacts out, which is just stupid because if he’d left them in, he’d be able to tell.

 

Throwing the covers back, he gets out of bed and slowly stands. His equilibrium is a little off, and he reaches out his hand, feeling for the wall to steady himself. Once he’s standing straight, it still feels weird as fuck to see everything in double. Hell, he hasn’t ever felt anything like it, even when he’s had the spins from drinking too much.

 

He slowly makes his way to the bathroom, hoping that a nice, hot shower will help clear up whatever’s going on. It doesn’t, even though he spends fifteen minutes in there. However, he did figure out when he got soap in his eye that if he closes one, the double vision is gone. That doesn’t really help him though because it’s not like he can go around all day with only one eye open.

 

A headache is starting to form at the back of his neck, which is probably just tension. He refuses to think of it as anything else. He dresses and slips on his glasses as he can’t even contemplate putting his contacts in at the moment. He’s got extra pairs at work anyway. Hopefully by the time he gets to the studio, he’ll be back to normal, and if not – well, he’ll talk to one of the medics and see what they think is going on.

 

He’s pouring coffee into his travel mug when his phone goes off alerting him that Clif is downstairs waiting for him. He slips on the hoodie that Jared had left over here a few weeks ago and pulls the hood down low over his forehead. Keeping one eye closed, he’s able to make it to the SUV without incident and he slides into the seat beside Jared.

 

“Got a headache?” Jared asks, forgoing his usual bright and sunny morning greeting.

 

Jensen frowns at him in confusion. “What?”

 

“You’re wearing your glasses,” Jared replies, pointing to Jensen’s face.

 

“Matter of fact, I do,” Jensen says before taking a sip of his coffee. He hopes the caffeine will help with the headache.

 

“Take anything for it?”

 

“Not yet. I’ll get something when we get to the studio.”

 

Jared reaches over, pulls the hood down gently, his fingers land lightly on the back of Jensen’s neck, and starts massaging the tense muscles. Jensen lets his head fall forward, closes his other eye. Damn, that feels good, and he groans out his thanks.

 

“Jen?” Jared asks softly.

 

“Mmm?”

 

“Missed you last night.”

 

He can’t help but smile. They’re working their way through new beginnings in their relationship. They’ve been friends – best friends – for almost two years now. They’ve only been lovers for two months. They haven’t shared the news with anyone yet, mostly at Jensen’s insistence, but he figures Clif may suspect because he’s been picking Jensen up more often than not at Jared’s place. Jensen has no fears about Clif ever breathing a word – the man is solid in all ways and takes his job as body guard with serious dedication.

 

“Yeah,” Jensen agrees, but actually he’s more than glad he stayed at home. Jared would be freaking out if he knew about the double vision and there would’ve been no way to hide it from him because at first Jensen lost his shit too. He’s sure it’s nothing, that with time it’ll go away on its own. He tests that theory by opening his eyes. Nothing’s changed. “Crap.”

 

“What?” Jared asks and Jensen can hear the worry in his voice. “Is it getting worse?”

 

“A little,” he lies. No sense in Jared getting all worked up when it might be nothing.

 

“Dude, you should’ve taken something for it right away.”

 

He’s right, of course, and Jensen silently curses himself for not thinking of it. “Hey, Clif,” Jensen says, “can you drop me off at the medic station first?”

 

“Sure thing,” Clif answers. “You okay?”

 

“He’s got a headache,” Jared answers for him, looking at Jensen carefully. “That’s all it is, right?”

 

Jensen takes another sip of coffee, gives a non-committal, “Mmmm.”

 

Jared still seems suspicious, but he doesn’t say anything else and when Clif stops at the medic station, Jared starts to get out of the SUV.

 

“Jared,” Jensen sighs, “I’m just getting something for a headache. Go on and check in, see what’s happening. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

 

After a moment, Jared closes his door and nods.

 

Jensen puts his hand on Jared’s knee, gives it a squeeze before getting out of the SUV. Clif doesn’t leave until Jensen’s inside.

 

“Morning,” a call comes from a room in the back, “I’ll be with you in just a second.”

 

Jensen recognizes her voice but can’t remember her name. He’s never needed to come here before, but he’s seen her around, they’ve said hello to each other, he’s sure. There’s always a medic on set whenever they’re doing a stunt, and thankfully, he’s only ever had to have a quick check to make sure he’s all in one piece.

 

“Hey, Jensen,” she greets him with a smile as she’s finishing drying her hands on a paper towel. “How are you this morning?”

 

“Morning, uh –”

 

“Jeannine,” she supplies with a soft laugh and flaps her hand as if to wave away his embarrassment. “What’s up?” 

 

“Jeannine,” he repeats quietly, wanting to remember now. “I’m having a little problem.”

 

“Okay, sure,” she says, her voice taking on a professional edge. She looks him over carefully as she ditches the paper towel into the trash. “What’s going on?”

 

“I’ve got double vision. Woke up with it this morning. If I keep one eye closed it goes away.”

 

 

She walks up to him, looking into his eyes – well, the one that’s open. “Open up both of them for me.”

 

He opens his eye, takes an involuntary step back.

 

She reaches out, grabs hold of his arms to steady him. “Still have it?” she asks quietly. He nods his head and she continues, “You can close it again if you’d like. Anything else going on?”

 

“Got a little bit of a headache, back of my neck.”

 

“Can you take the hoodie off for me?” When he complies, he tries not to be weirded out by how carefully she’s looking him over. “Did you fall or hit your head?”

 

“No.”

 

“Smile for me.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“C’mon,” she says, with a sudden smile of her own, “show me those pearly whites of yours.”

 

“Um, okay,” he says slowly, but does as she asks.

 

“Good. Now lift your arms up.” He does so and she nods her head and he drops his arms back to his sides. “Repeat after me, ‘the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.’”

 

His heart starts to speed up, knowing she’s testing him for something, but he has no idea what. He parrots the phrase back easily.

 

“Good,” she says reassuringly. “I don’t think it’s a stroke.”

 

“Stroke?” Now he’s definitely panicking.

 

“Yes, sorry, don’t mean to panic you. I just need to do a few more things, blood pressure and so forth, but I think we need to get you to the hospital. Double vision is nothing to sneeze at.” She goes over to the small desk by the door and picks up the phone. “I’ll get someone to take you.” 

 

“Jared,” he says quietly, glad there’s a chair nearby that he can collapse into.

 

“You want me to call him?” she asks.

 

“Uh –” Shit, he doesn’t know what to do. Things – bad things like strokes and tumors – start flitting through his mind. It’s scary and he wants someone here that he cares about. Someone who cares about him.

 

He can hear her on the phone, but he can’t focus on it, he’s still too wrapped up in whatever may be going on in his head. She’s got the blood pressure cuff on him and already shown a light into his eyes when the small shack starts filling up with people, but Jared isn’t one of them.

 

Jeannine murmurs something to him, pats his arm after she takes the cuff off him and goes to talk to Kim. They are speaking quietly but he hears words like ‘precautions’ and ‘ambulance’, which do nothing for lowering his heart rate. 

 

Scott, one of the PAs, is by the door, talking into his headset. Clif is also present, regarding Jensen with a mixture of pissed off and concern. He’s probably mad he didn’t say anything as soon as he got in the SUV this morning and ask to be driven straight to the hospital. 

 

“Jen,” Kim says, crouching in front of him, putting his hand on Jensen’s arm. “Clif is going to take you to the hospital. Jeannine thinks it’s best if we get some tests run. She’s calling ahead so they’ll know you’re coming.”

 

Jensen can only nod because Kim’s talking to him in soft, reassuring tones, and it’s only causing his stomach to roll with panic. This is serious to have so many people all riled up about it.

 

The door bangs open and Jared’s filling up the frame. “What’s going on?” he asks breathlessly as if he’s run a few hundred miles.

 

There are too many people between them, and Jared can’t get to him unless he forcibly moves them. For a second, Jensen kind of wishes he would.

 

“Jensen’s gotta get some tests done,” Clif says. “He woke up seeing two of everything.”

 

“What? Double vision?” Jared says, sounding even more breathless than before. His mouth is in a grim line before he says, “I’m going with him.”

 

“All right,” Kim says. “You keep us informed as to what’s going on.”

 

Jared nods and then elbows his way to Jensen, helping him stand. 

 

“I’m okay to walk on my own, Jared,” Jensen says, a little irritated now and embarrassed. He doesn’t like causing a fuss and he knows he’s already cost them at least the morning of shooting. Jared should probably stay so they can work around Jensen being absent. He can’t bring himself to mention this because it would probably piss the hell out of Jared, and for the purely selfish reason that Jensen wants Jared with him.

 

Jared drops his hand away from Jensen and gives him a curt, “Fine. Just get your ass in the car.”

It’s quiet in the SUV, but after a few minutes in, Jensen leans against Jared, who without hesitation wraps one arm around his shoulders.

 

“Should I call anyone?” Jared asks softly.

 

“No. Not yet.” He hands Jared his phone, doesn’t say ‘just in case’ even though he’s thinking it. Jared takes the phone and pockets it, then lightly rests his chin on top of Jensen’s head.

 

Once at the hospital, Clif insists on going in first and thankfully they’re ready for him. Jensen feels a bit of panic when he has to leave Jared out in the waiting room. There’s also some guilt mixed in because if all Jared can do is sit on uncomfortable hospital chairs, then what was the point of him being here?

 

A nurse comes into the examining room with him, tells him to change out of his clothes and put on a hospital gown. He’s undressed, sufficiently covered, but uncomfortable, and just about to sit on the bed when another nurse comes in and takes his temperature and blood pressure, asking him to tell her what happened. He’s stumbling through the story when a doctor comes in, introduces himself and Jensen doesn’t even try to remember their names. It’s too much and his mind is still occupied with trying to keep calm. The doctor checks Jensen’s eyes and ears, asks him if he’s had anything to eat along with the same questions that Jeannine raised earlier.

 

The doctor explains that they’re going to do an MRI and a chest x-ray. Jensen gets the MRI, but a chest x-ray? It’s all happening so fast and he’s too afraid of the answer to ask the question out loud, settles onto the bed instead so they can wheel him to radiology. The MRI takes an excruciatingly long time, but he’s able to keep his eyes closed for it. The chest x-ray is simple and then he’s back in his room, a nurse comes in and takes what seems like a gallon of blood and hooks him up to an EKG monitor.

 

Everything starts moving in slow motion because there’s no more hustle and bustle. It’s just him and his thoughts and he’s getting a little fatigued and a lot frustrated. He listens to the rhythmic beeping of the EKG machine, watches the lines on the small screen by his bed, the animated version of his heartbeat.

 

Twenty minutes goes by before the curtain pushes away from the wall and Jared’s there. Jensen smiles at him, grateful for his presence in so many ways. But Jared’s looking a little sick, his face pale and his eyes filled with concern as he asks, “Have they told you anything yet?”

 

“No, just gotta wait.” He tries not to scratch at the sticky pads that hold the electrodes in place on his chest. They don’t really itch, but it’s annoying as hell to sit still and let the machine get its readings. “I hate these stupid hospital gowns. Uncomfortable as shit.”

 

Jared’s just shaking his head, looking lost. “God, Jen, I didn’t even realize. This morning, when you – I’m sorry.”

 

“How were you supposed to know? You can’t just look at someone and tell they’ve got fucked up vision.”

 

“I just should’ve, you know, noticed something.”

 

“Dude, you don’t have to apologize for that. I didn’t want to freak you out in case it turns out to be nothing.”

 

“Yeah, well –” Jared doesn’t have to finish the thought. They’re both sufficiently unhinged at the moment.

 

The curtain slides back and the doctor enters the room, glances at both of them a moment before saying, “Gentlemen.” He looks at the tape the EKG is spitting out for an instant, nodding, and then focuses on Jensen. “We’re sending you to an ophthalmologist, a specialist. Everything here checks out, except it’ll take a few days to get the blood work back. Your regular physician ordered some extensive tests.”

 

“My doctor?” Jensen asks in surprise.

 

“Yes,” the doctor says absently, flipping through some pages on the chart. “The production company gave us all the information and we contacted him once we got your MRI results. Your lungs, heart, and brain all check out. You’re still experiencing the double vision?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“And your friend can drive you? The ophthalmologist will want to do a variety of tests, which means you probably shouldn’t drive after that.”

 

“Mmm, great,” Jensen mumbles.

 

“You can get dressed now. The nurse will come in with your discharge paperwork.”

 

As soon as the curtain screeches across the metal rod, Jensen begins pulling off the electrodes and hops off the bed. He’s already dressed, except for his shoes, when the nurse comes in. “Just need you to sign off here. The doctor recommends you follow up with your own physician no later than tomorrow. If you start to feel dizzy or nauseous, any numbness or abnormal pain, you should come back immediately. I’ve talked to your driver, Mr. Clif, and he knows where to take you.”

 

“Clif’s still here?”

 

“Of course,” Jared says. “He’s not going to just leave you here. He was out in the waiting room with me.”

 

“Oh.”

 

He signs where the nurse indicates and she hands him some paperwork.

 

“Here, put your shoes on,” Jared says quietly, handing him his Reebok’s. 

 

The trip to the specialist’s office is quiet. Jensen’s thoughts are stuck on home – Texas and his parents. He’s not looking forward to calling his mom, knows that it’s always in the back of her mind that something bad is going to happen to one of her children and she’ll have no time to get to them, that there’ll be no one there to care for them like she can. He thinks about not calling at all, but Jared won’t be able to keep quiet and once the Padalecki clan is on it, the Ackles will soon follow.

 

It’s a bit reassuring to know that his tests at the hospital all came back negative, but going to the specialist and still having the double vision hours later can’t be good. 

 

There are only a couple of people in the waiting room, and Clif motions them over to a quiet corner while he checks in with the receptionist.

 

“Be a few minutes,” Clif murmurs when he joins them.

 

Clif and Jared are flanking him and it’s starting to feel a bit too uncomfortable for Jensen. Having his mom worry and fuss over him is one thing, but Clif and Jared – it’s too much. He tries to lighten the mood a bit.

 

“Hey, you think I might get to wear a cool eye patch or something?”

 

Jared gives him a pissed off ‘stop talking’ look while Clif just grunts and crosses his arms over his chest.

 

Jensen fidgets in the chair and really, he’s just ready to be done with all of it. The worry is starting to burn off since no one’s rushing him anywhere and it seems like a long time ago when Jeannine said scary things like ‘stroke’. No one has any answers for him yet, but he figures it can’t be anything life-threatening at this point in time. 

 

“Jared?”

 

“What?” Jared says with a touch of grouchiness.

 

“I’m sorry, man.”

 

Jared looks at him as if he’s talking in tongues. “For?”

 

“Kind of a shitty way to spend your day, huh?”

 

“Jesus, Jen, don’t be an idiot.”

 

Jensen flips through the list of things he could reply to that when they call him back into the examining room. The doctor is nice enough, but as anyone who’s a specialist in their field, he’s kind of an asshole too. His tone is clipped as he asks a series of questions and Jensen has to explain everything once again from the time he first woke up. 

 

The doctor puts him through the regular series of tests that Jensen normally has every year with his own ophthalmologist. The doctor asks if he has anyone to drive him home because he’s going to dilate Jensen’s pupils. When he shines a brighter than fuck light into Jensen’s eyes and tells him not to blink, he’s had about all he can take for the day.

 

The doctor hands him a pair of sunglasses. “You’ll want to put those on as any type of light will probably bother you for a while.”

 

Jensen takes the sunglasses and thinks an eye patch would definitely be a lot cooler. The glasses are big and boxy looking, with side panels to block out as much light as possible and they’ll fit over his regular eyeglasses. He’s seen this type before, but only in use by senior citizens. He tries not to make a face as he slides them on.

 

“The good news is that I don’t see any problems at all. Is the double vision gone?”

 

Jensen’s been so caught up in the tests and everything that he hadn’t realized that he has both his eyes open and everything looks normal. Thank God. “Yeah, it is.”

 

“Mmm,” the doctor hums and scribbles something on his exam notes, before looking back up at him. “Good. I can only offer my best guess. If the muscles of the eye become weak or damaged, the eye doesn’t move smoothly and it can cause double vision. I’m not seeing any problem there, so I believe what happened is that you had a temporary paralysis.”

 

Jensen clears his throat, getting that ‘oh shit’ feeling back again. “Paralysis?”

 

“I know it’s not what you want to hear and I don’t blame you. There is no answer. Whatever happened was temporary. I can’t find anything wrong and it most likely won’t happen again, at least not any time soon. I understand that they’re going to do a complete work up on you, which is good. That should uncover any problems you need to be aware of, but at this point, I don’t think there’s anything to be concerned about.”

 

Jensen smiles, the relief tremendous. “So – that’s great.”

 

“I’d like you to call your regular ophthalmologist and fill him in on what’s going on. I’ll fax everything over to his office, but I’m sure he’ll want to follow-up with you. If you have any more problems whatsoever, please make sure you get in to see him or me right away.”

 

“I’ll do that,” Jensen promises.

 

When he walks back out into the waiting room, he finds Jared and Clif still sitting where he’d left them. However, Jared’s back is leaning against Clif, one foot is on the floor, his other leg stretching out along the row of chairs beside him, his mouth hanging open a little.

 

Jensen gives Clif a smirk, who returns it with a half shrug.

 

“Hey,” Jensen says softly, tapping Jared’s foot that’s planted on the floor with his own.

 

Jared bolts up, wipes the back of his hand across his mouth, and looks at him with wide eyes. “Shit, I fell asleep.”

 

“I’m not surprised, it’s been a long fucking day,” Jensen says with a grin. “C’mon, let’s get outta here. Vision’s back to normal. I’ll explain the rest in the car.” He’s sure the receptionist knows who they are – she’s being very smiley and attentive to what they’re doing – and he has no desire to say more than he has to. Only saying as much as he did so maybe the worry will leave Jared’s eyes.

 

Jared smiles, the first real one Jensen’s seen all day and it’s comforting and does all sorts of other things that he doesn’t want to think about for the moment.

 

The doctor had been right about the light hurting his eyes because as soon as Jensen walks out into the sunshine, he’s squinting, even while wearing the sunglasses. Once in the SUV, Jensen fills Jared and Clif in on everything the doctor told him and he can see the tension draining out of Jared. 

 

He holds out his hand toward Jared. “Dude, gimme my phone so I can call and let ‘em know we’re on our way back.”

 

“No way,” Jared says with a shake of his head. “We’re going home. The day’s shot and no one really gives a damn about that anyway, just were worried about you.”

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“Yeah, we know that _now_ , but we didn’t before. Everyone was flipping the fuck out, so no one is really in any shape to work today.”

 

“We’re behind a whole day just ’cause of me. That means extra work for everyone. If they want to do anything today, Jared, then I’m ready.”

 

“You know, I get how you think what happened isn’t that big of a deal, that all anyone really cares about is staying on schedule and on budget or what-the-fuck-ever else. But, Christ, it _is_ a big deal and I couldn’t do one scene today if I wanted because – shit, Jensen.” Jared’s voice breaks and Jensen can’t deal with that. Not now, not after the emotional roller coaster they’d both been on all day.

 

“Don’t make this into something it’s not,” Jensen warns quietly.

 

“Something it’s not? Okay, that –” Jared slams his fist into the passenger door. 

 

Jensen thinks Clif is a genius when he turns on the radio and hits the volume button so that the SUV is filled with music. He needs to buy the man some awesome presents for at least a month straight.

 

“You think I can’t be in love with you, yet?” Jared jams right up against him, his voice low, but Jensen can’t miss the anger and hurt. “That the fact that we were best friends before we started having sex somehow has me whacked out and I’m clueless as to what my true feelings are? That the thought of something bad happening to you doesn’t scare the shit out of me? Just because you won’t let me talk about it doesn’t mean I don’t know it.”

 

“No, I’m not –” Jensen stops because he realizes that’s exactly what he’s thinking, what he’s been worried about since the day he couldn’t stop himself from kissing Jared and giving him a quick hand job against the door of his trailer. He thought he’d ruined everything between them, but Jared hadn’t tripped out at all. In fact, he returned the favor later that night, at Jensen’s apartment, in spectacular fashion by giving Jensen one of the best blow jobs he’d ever had.

 

Ultimately, he’s worried that Jared’s going to realize that it is indeed a blurry line between friendship and sex and really only just wants to be friends. Or worse, not even that. Because of that, he’s been afraid to explore any deeper meaning to their relationship, preventing Jared from even mentioning what it is they have together. 

 

Apparently Jared’s calling bullshit. “Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re going home, I’ll order us a pizza. There’s got to be at least two or three DVDs that need watching, and we’re going to veg the fuck out for the night.”

 

“Sounds good,” Jensen says quietly.

 

Jared’s brow quirks, as if he’s surprised by Jensen’s easy acquiescence. “Great,” Jared says with only a hint of suspicion.

 

Jensen leans his head back, glad the stress of the day is finally behind them. He feels even better when they pull up to Jared’s house not long after and he doesn’t even mind when Jared gets up right behind him as they’re walking up to the front door, like he’s afraid Jensen might fall over or something.

 

Jared shoos the dogs out into the fenced-in back yard, as Jensen takes off the grandpa sunglasses. Jared comes back to help Jensen with the hoodie, and settles him onto the couch, throwing an afghan over him.

 

“Jared, I’m not an invalid, you know,” he says with a sigh, but he doesn’t touch the afghan even though he’s not at all cold.

 

“Just let me take care of you a little bit, huh?”

 

It’s not a lot to ask, and he remembers how much he wanted Jared there by his side early this morning. “So, pizza and beer, right?”

 

“Pizza, no beer.”

 

“Why no beer?” he asks even though he thinks he already knows the answer.

 

And yep, he does, because Jared answers him like he’s speaking to a two-year old. “You were just in the hospital, Jensen. You don’t need a beer.”

 

Jensen opens his mouth to argue, but an over-protective Jared is kind of hot. A sexy Jared is no hardship. “Soda it is, then.”

 

Jared gives him a full dimpled smile of triumph and reaches into his pocket and throws something at him. “Call your mom while I order the pizza.”

 

He catches his phone deftly, forgetting that Jared still had it. Looking down at it for a moment before peering back up at Jared, he decided to capitalize on the whole caregiving aspect. Giving a pitiful cough, and trying to looked wiped out, he says, “I don’t feel so good. And I’m so fucking tired. Why don’t you call her?”

 

“You, Jensen Ackles, are a chicken shit.”

 

“Yes. And?”

 

Jared laughs before disappearing into the kitchen. “Call her!”

 

Jensen takes a deep breath and hits the speed dial for his mom. She picks up after only the second ring. “Jensen, sweetie, what a surprise.”

 

“Hi, Mom.”

 

“What’s happened?” she asks.

 

“Why do you think something’s happened?”

 

“Because you’re calling me in the middle of the afternoon. On a weekday,” she says with sarcastic overtones. He knows she’s trying to cover her worry with humor.

 

He quickly tells her about the episode this morning, the tests he went through at the hospital and the specialist’s office and that’s there’s nothing to worry about.

 

He finishes with, “And Jared’s kidnapped me and is forcing me to watch movies on his ginormous TV for the rest of the night.”

 

“You’re at Jared’s?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Let me speak to him.”

 

“Momma,” he sighs and rubs his hand across his forehead. “I’m fine.”

 

“Jensen Ross Ackles, let me speak to that boy right now.”

 

Jensen rolls his eyes, but you don’t mess with your mom when she applies that tone of voice and invokes your full name. He drops the phone away from his ear. “Jared!”

 

“What?” Jared walks back into the living room, hands on hips.

 

Jensen holds the phone out to him. “She wants to talk to you.”

 

Jared doesn’t even hesitate, just grins a little and plucks the phone from his fingers. “Hello Donna… Yes, that’s true… No ma’am, I’m sorry, I didn’t know at first, he said it was only a headache.”

 

“I did have a headache,” Jensen insists but Jared waves his hand in a shushing motion and gives him a frown.

 

“Mmm-hmm, that’s what they said… I stayed with him the whole time… No ma’am, just at the hospital, I wasn’t allowed in the examining room at the specialist’s… I’ll make sure of it... He wanted to… I promise.” Jared is quiet for several moments, his voice gruff as he finally says, “Thank you. I will… G’bye, Donna.”

 

Jared hands the phone back before wandering into the kitchen.

 

“Mom?” Jensen says into the phone. “What’d you say to Jared?”

 

“Never you mind, that’s between Jared and me,” she says quietly. “Now you two have a nice evening and I’ll talk to you soon.”

 

“Mom?” he asks with uncertainty.

 

“I know you’re okay, and yes, I’m trying like hell not to hang up this phone right now and book a flight up there. But Jared’s there and I know if there’s one person besides your family I can trust to take care of you, it’s him.” Her voice is tender and quiet and it’s times like these that Jensen misses the hell out of her.

 

Damn, how can his mom make both Jared and Jensen want to cry in one short phone call? He wants to tell her exactly what Jared means to him, everything he is to Jensen, but now is not the time. Besides, it seems like maybe she’s figured out a few things on her own. It wouldn’t be the first time she’s beaten him to the punch when it comes to something serious and important in his life.

 

“Okay, I’ll call you this weekend.”

 

“Good. Love you, sweetie.”

 

“I love you too, Mom.”

 

Jared comes back in as Jensen disconnects from the call and sits beside him. “Your mom’s pretty awesome,” Jared says softly.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Jen, I –” Jared’s not even looking at him, his eyes are trained on the blank TV screen across the room. 

 

“Whatever you want to say, Jared, you can. I’m not going to stop you anymore.”

 

Jared turns his head and Jensen feels stupid for even trying to deny the love that he sees shining in Jared’s eyes. “I love you,” Jensen says, pushing through the lump in his throat, but Jared deserves to hear, to know without any uncertainties. “I have for a long time and I’m sorry for being afraid and not trusting you.”

 

“Jen,” Jared groans before leaning over and kissing him. It’s hard and it’s punishing, but oh God, it’s everything else too. Jared isn’t one to hold back on his emotions and it shows Jensen even more how much Jared loves him that he was willing to keep all that bottled up inside himself, to let Jensen work through his issues.

 

Jared pushes him back against the couch, aligns their bodies so that they’re lying side by side, facing each other. Not for the first time, Jensen’s glad Jared likes big, comfortable furniture. Jared’s hands are exploring his body thoroughly as his tongue does the same with Jensen’s mouth. Jensen throws a leg over Jared, pulls him closer so they can grind together, the friction equal parts pleasure and frustration. Jensen would much rather be doing this naked, but he realizes there’s no hurry. They have time to do it all. And that’s exactly what Jensen wants. He wants everything.

 

~~~***~~~

 

It’s the end of a super-fucking long day and Jensen’s been looking forward to getting home for at least the past three hours. There are only a couple of episodes left to film in the season and it has everyone ready for a break, fatigue and emotions running high. Of course his little health scare three weeks ago didn’t help matters much. Jared isn’t letting him out of his sight for more than two minutes if he can help it. Jensen had to sneak away late this morning just to go to his doctor’s appointment while Jared was busy filming. He’s probably going to catch hell from Jared for doing so, but damn, he didn’t need an audience for a freaking physical and to get the official results of his blood tests.

 

The doctor had called a few days ago, letting him know everything came back normal, but that he wanted some actual face time with Jensen. Dr. Weston said something about having a complete baseline to go by so he could keep an eye on things with Jensen. He liked Dr. Weston and Jensen was kind of impressed that the doctor wanted to see him in person. However, Jensen did make him give his personal assurance that everything was fine. 

 

Jensen did tell Jared what the doctor had said, but left out the part about having to go in. He doesn’t really want to make a big production of it. Jensen isn’t stupid; he knows everyone is keeping an eye on him these days, like they’re waiting for him to keel over or something. It’s more than a little creepy. He only wants everyone to chill out. Although the outcome of the appointment isn’t something he’s going to keep from Jared. He’s going to tell him all about it over dinner.

 

Jared lets the dogs out as Jensen goes to the kitchen to check out the contents of the fridge. There isn’t much left but some beer and moldy cheese. One of them is going to have to make a grocery run – like yesterday. In the meantime, calling out for delivery is their only option. He’s digging out some of the menus from the drawer by the oven when he hears Jared enter the room.

 

“What do you feel like? Chinese or pizza?” Jensen asks looking down at the picture filled menus to see if anything in particular catches his fancy.

 

“Nothing, man. I’m going for a run with the dogs.”

 

Looking up with a frown he sees that Jared has already changed into some shorts and a t-shirt. “Jared, it’s dark out.”

 

Jared shrugs. “I’ve done it plenty of times, in fact, most of the time when I go running, it’s not even light out.”

 

“Well, then – okay.” Jensen’s a little lost. This isn’t their normal routine and Jared’s voice is more than a little distant. “I’ll order something and it’ll be here when you get back.”

 

Jared snaps the leashes onto the dogs’ collars, doesn’t even look at him. “I told you I’m not hungry.”

 

Actually, he hadn’t said that at all, but Jensen isn’t going to point that out. “You sick?”

 

That got Jared’s attention, looking up and fixing Jensen with a hard stare. “Me? No, but if I was, _I_ would tell you.”

 

Uh-huh. So, he’s still in trouble for not telling Jared immediately about his double vision. He’d already apologized for that and promised at least a million times that he’d tell Jared whenever he felt even the slightest bit sick, like even just the sniffles.

 

“You mind telling me what crawled up your ass then?”

 

“Figure it out.” Jared leaves, the door slamming behind him.

 

Now Jensen isn’t very hungry either. Somehow Jared found out about the doctor’s appointment. Great.

 

It’s an hour before Jared gets back. Jensen is sitting in the quiet, darkened living room, his head leaning back against the couch, staring up at the ceiling.

 

“What are you doing?” Jared asks, breathless and sweaty from his run.

 

“Feeling like a shitty friend.”

 

“Can I join you?”

 

Jensen raises his eyebrow at that because Jared definitely sounds guilty. “What did you do to deserve to be in the club?”

 

Jared sits on the edge of the couch, bracing his arms on his thighs and letting his hands hang between his legs. “Uh, maybe ’cause I stomped out the house like a four-year old.”

 

“You’re mad because I didn’t let you come to the doctor’s with me.”

 

“Yeah, I was,” Jared admits quietly. “I just – You didn’t even tell me about it.”

 

Jensen closes his eyes at the hurt in Jared’s voice. “I know.”

 

“I’m a pushy bastard at times, I get that, but I thought we had something different going on here than just being friends.”

 

“We do.”

 

“So why are you hiding things from me again?”

 

Jensen snorts out a mirthless laugh. “Shit.” Jared isn’t mad about not knowing about the goddamn doctor, he’s afraid Jensen’s backpedaling. Could Jensen be more of a jackass?

 

“Jared, I didn’t do it for any other reason than you would’ve insisted on coming along and then had to sit in the waiting room again. I know how boring that is.”

 

“You wouldn’t have let me come in when the doctor talked to you?”

 

“Well, yeah, of course. But it took a while to get everything else out of the way.”

 

Jared sits up straight at that, his brows drawn together. “What else out of the way?”

 

“I had to have a physical. I thought – how did you find out about the appointment?”

 

“Jeannine stopped by to ask about you, wondered if you’d gotten back yet.”

 

Jeannine’s about the only person he’d told he was going. They’re becoming friends since ‘the incident’ and after he’d gone in to thank her for her help, Jensen started making sure he dropped by every few days to say hello. She’s nice and seems genuinely concerned for those she works with. Jensen likes her, he’s sure Jared does too.

 

“I didn’t want you to worry.”

 

“ _You_ must have been worried about it since you didn’t say anything.”

 

Jensen groans in frustration. He knows he’s wrong – been wrong about a lot of things. He _has_ been holding himself back from Jared since the whole couch confessional session a few weeks ago. Damn, what is it about this couch anyway?

 

“Look, I know all that shit made everyone crazy and have ‘oh my God’ moments about there being something seriously wrong with me. And yes, for Christ’s sake, I wanted you with me that day and I still want you with me. We’re practically joined at the hip every day anyway, but after that, you were in panic mode. Like if you let me out of your sight for more than ten minutes, something bad was going to happen.”

 

“Because it did!” Jared stands up. “Jesus fucking Christ, Jensen, you don’t know what it felt like for me that day and I truly, sincerely hope you never do. You tell me you have a headache and that I should go and to work like everything is all normal and shit. The next thing I know, they’re telling me to get to the medic station fast because something is wrong. No one can tell me what’s going on and really, I wasn’t going to waste time asking. When I get there, the room is crowded with people and you’re all huddled up in a corner. You,” he spreads his arms out toward Jensen. “You’re the strongest, most solid person I know, Jensen, and you just looked – broken and scared. I couldn’t even fucking get to you. I had to look at you across the room and be _told_ by someone else what was going on. You weren’t saying a damn word, and when you did, it’s to get fucking bitchy with me for helping you!

 

“When Clif said you were seeing two of everything, you’re right, it did go through my mind that you had a tumor, or an aneurism, or God knew what else. And yeah, I was pretty fucking selfish at that moment because I thought what the hell am I gonna do if something happens to Jensen? If he’s not around in the morning to grump at me when there’s no coffee. Who’s gonna love my dogs the way he does? Who’ll have my back when I totally screw up a scene? Who’ll take all the shit I dish out and give it right back to me? And how will I ever get over losing him, this man who is _every-fucking-thing_ to me?”

 

Jared’s breathing hard and starting to cry and Jensen’s frozen for another second before he jumps off the couch and wraps him up in his arms. For a moment, Jensen’s more scared than he ever was three weeks ago, because Jared’s just standing there, stiff and unmoving, until finally he collapses against Jensen. He automatically widens his stance to take the weight, which he does so gladly, willingly.

 

“Jared, I’m sorry. I didn’t know,” he says quietly against Jared’s ear, tears stinging his own eyes. “God, please – I’m sorry.”

 

These last few weeks he thought he was being a saint for putting up with Jared. That he’s being so understanding and tolerant. Now he’s realizing just how bad at that he truly is – letting people in and laying it all out. Sure, he told Jared he loved him, but how exactly had he shown it? Jared shows him every day, in so many ways.

 

Jensen knows that his episode has caused a lot of people to re-think things – exactly as Jared said. What happens if Jensen isn’t around anymore? His parents call or text him at least every other day, his sister and brother keep in touch more regularly. Although it had turned out just to be some random happening, it’s still a bit of a wakeup call. How could he think it was any different for Jared? 

 

The words that keep echoing in his mind are ‘this man who is every-fucking-thing to me.’ Jared just keeps ripping himself open and laying himself bare in front of Jensen. It’s painful to watch at times, almost as if Jensen is being torn apart right with him, but, Jesus, it’s worth it. 

 

Jensen makes a small noise in the back of his throat; it hurts to even try to talk. “Jared, come on, sit down.” 

 

Jared nods against his neck, straightens a little, but won’t let go of Jensen so that they kind of just fall onto the couch in a messy tangle. 

 

“It’s just sometimes I’m afraid, man,” Jared says, his voice muffled as he has his head buried in Jensen’s neck again. “You’d probably be in stage four cancer before you ever told anyone just because you didn’t want to be a bother.” Jared lifts his head, searches his face for a moment before continuing softly, “I’m not trying to change you, you know. I fell in love with you just the way you are. I just wish – I want you to let me in sometimes, that’s all.”

 

“Jay,” he whispers brokenly. “You’re right. You deserve all that and more.” 

 

People use words like ‘stoic’ and ‘reserved’ and ‘shy’ when describing Jensen. Hell, he says it about his own damn self at times. But he hasn’t been like that with Jared since – fuck, since about the third or fourth month of shooting the first season. Jared is funny and open and so charming, everyone falls under his spell. Jared is the very definition of touchy feely and Jensen loves that about him. The only time it changed is when Jensen forgot all that, put up a wall, and hid behind it. 

 

“I’ll back off some,” Jared says with resolve, pulling Jensen out of his thoughts.

 

“No, you don’t have to.”

 

Jared gives him a skeptical look and Jensen huffs out a small laugh. “Okay, yeah, that would be nice. Like maybe not spot checking me while I’m sleeping to make sure I’m still breathing would be a start.” This is going to be hard, but he wants Jared to know he’s serious. “I want to tell our families, Jare, our friends.”

 

Jared’s forehead scrunches up. “You do?”

 

“We should’ve told them a while ago. Hell, I think my mom already knows.”

 

“You don’t have to say anything unless you want to, Jen.”

 

“I do. I know you want to.”

 

Jared lets his head fall and he closes his eyes. “I already told my brother.”

 

“How’d that go?” Jensen asks trying to sound casual, but he has experience with coming out to an older brother and that shit isn’t easy.

 

Lifting his head slowly, Jared watches him as he says, “He wasn’t really surprised.” He waits a beat before continuing. “You’re not upset?”

 

“Jared, they’re your family. I didn’t really expect you not to say anything to _anyone_.”

 

“Yeah, you kinda did.” All right, guess Jared’s done pulling punches. 

 

“Well – I’m sorry for that. Do you think he said anything to anyone else?”

 

Jared sighs and starts to pull away. “He’s not gonna say anything because I asked him not to.”

 

“No,” Jensen says desperately, pulling Jared back toward him. “Sorry, that’s not what I meant!”

 

“Then what did you mean?”

 

“It would kinda make it easier?”

 

Jared blinks at him a moment, then starts to laugh. “You are such a dickhead.”

 

“Yeah, but you love me anyway,” Jensen teases.

 

“I do,” Jared responds with quiet intensity and without hesitation.

 

Jensen wants to say ‘I love you’ back, but doesn’t want Jared to think he’s only saying it because he has to, because Jared said it first. He wants him to know how much he means it, that when he says those words, it’s something he feels with every part of his being.

 

“C’mon, let’s get you upstairs, get a shower, have some awesome make-up sex, and pass out,” Jensen says, trying to untangle their limbs.

 

“We’re going to have make-up sex?”

 

“Uh, regular sex then?”

 

“Any type of sex with you is awesome, Jensen.” Jared flutters his eyelashes at him.

 

“Oh, so you want to be the girl tonight?”

 

Jared throws his head back and laughs. “I’m so not the girl. I’m taller than you, dude.”

 

Jensen’s done with teasing when he sees the long column of Jared’s neck and wants to get his mouth on him. The wariness is gone, and just the giddiness that’s Jared is shining through. 

 

“No, you’re right,” Jensen says, his voice low and rough. “I want you to fuck me through the mattress tonight.”

 

Jared sits up straighter, his eyes go wide. “Jesus!” He grabs a handful of Jensen’s t-shirt and hauls him against his chest, kisses him hard and deep and wet.

 

Jensen loses himself in the heat for a moment, but then pushes Jared away. “As much as I love your couch, Jay, I want to go up to our room where we can spread out and not be all jacked up here.”

 

A slow, satisfied smile spreads across Jared’s face. “Our room?”

 

“It feels like our room,” Jensen says softly. He doesn’t doubt for one second that Jared doesn’t consider it the same. Jensen’s already practically living here. Clif doesn’t even call anymore to find out if he needs to pick Jensen up from his apartment, just always shows up at Jared’s house.

 

“Yeah.”

 

They make it off of the couch okay, but then are kissing and disrobing each other on their way, stumbling and knocking each other into walls, so it takes a bit longer than usual to make it upstairs to the bathroom. They spend a long a long time in the shower, using much more soap than necessary. The slip slide of skin against skin is too enticing to end it too soon. Once they’re drying off, however, Jensen can’t wait any longer and is crowding Jared into the bedroom, discarding his barely used towel on the floor.

 

Jared seems to be on the same page – done with slow and easy as he backs Jensen against the bed with a predatory gleam in his eyes. He pushes Jensen down on the mattress and is about to join him when Harley beats him to it and starts to lick Jensen’s face.

 

At first he’s frozen with shock. Jared usually closes the bedroom door whenever they get up to something in the bedroom and for some reason Harley and Sadie always leave them alone if they fool around on the couch downstairs. Jensen turns his head away, chuckles, and brings up his hands to ward off the overly-exuberant dog.

 

“Harley, down,” Jared commands, his voice harsh and loud. Harley immediately obeys and Jared points toward the door. “Downstairs.”

 

Jensen leans up on his elbows and sees Sadie hovering at the doorway as Harley hesitates with her there. It’s unusual for the dogs not to immediately obey Jared’s authoritative voice. “Maybe they need to go out,” Jensen suggests. 

 

“I just brought them in,” Jared says with a sigh of frustration.

 

It’s probably been a good hour since Jared got back from his run, and not that Jared would ever mistreat his dogs, but they are attuned to Jared’s moods. The outing might have been more about burning off Jared’s anger and Harley and Sadie were just glad to be included, so they probably were anxious to go out and take care of some left over business.

 

“I’ll do it,” Jensen offers easily and starts to get up, but Jared just pushes him back down.

 

“You stay, I’ll be back in a minute. They take forever when you take them out,” he grumbles before yanking a dresser drawer open and pulling on a pair of shorts.

 

It’s true. Jared is definitely the alpha in the house and the dogs seem to know they can get away with a lot of shit when Jensen takes care of them. Jared doesn’t have to do more than whistle at them and they scurry to do his bidding.

 

Jensen isn’t going to waste any time either and moves to get the lube out of the nightstand as Jared stomps down the stairs. Jensen positions himself comfortably on the bed and starts to get ready for Jared. That’s how Jared finds him a few minutes later, fucking his entrance with his fingers, opening himself up for his lover.

 

“Shit,” Jared says as if he’s just been punched in the gut. He doesn’t stand there long, his long legs eating up the space between the doorway and the bed in just a few strides. The door slams shut in his wake. “What you fucking do to me,” Jared mumbles as he shucks off his shorts.

 

If Jensen has any type of answer to that, it’s lost in Jared’s mouth. Jared’s kissing him even as he’s getting on the bed beside him. Jared’s mouth is searing and for a moment Jensen can’t even breathe. Jared positions himself between Jensen’s legs, just watching. Jensen’s doing his own watching, his eyes sliding down Jared’s body, stopping at Jared’s cock, hard and ready for him.

 

It used to be one of Jensen’s most favorite things to make Jared either laugh or smile, because that just made the whole day better no matter what was going on. Now he had something that is at the top of the list. Making Jared come.

 

Jared leans over him, covering him as he reaches for the condom packet, and Jensen revels in the feeling of being pinned down. Another quick, almost painful kiss before Jared settles onto his knees again and Jensen already misses him.

 

“Fuck, hurry up,” Jensen complains, removes his fingers and wipes them absently against the sheets. They’re going to have to change the bedding anyway since they were wet from their shower when Jensen first hit the mattress.

 

Jared bites down hard on his lower lip as he rolls the condom on. “Wait a second. Jesus,” Jared says, glancing up at him. Whatever he sees there in Jensen’s face must almost make him lose it, because Jared scrunches his eyes closed tight and his fingers circles the base of his cock. And that’s just such a fucking gorgeous picture in of itself that Jensen can’t help but wrap one leg around Jared’s waist and arch up.

 

Jared’s eyes open and with a growl he presses Jensen’s thighs down and out and enters him in one swift move, bottoming out. 

 

“Motherfuck!” Jensen yells, more out of surprise than hurt, although it does sting quite a bit. Thankfully, Jared’s giving him a moment to adjust, but it doesn’t take long. Jared’s got that predatory look back in his eyes and Jensen wants it all and more.

 

“Damnit, move,” Jensen begs, but the only thing Jared moves is his eyebrow, arching it. Oh, so that’s how it is. Well, Jensen’s not too proud, he can handle that. ”C’mon, baby, give it to me deep and hard. I want to be able to feel it tomorrow. Fuck me with that big dick of yours. Split me wide open, fuck me raw. Make me come, Jared.”

 

“Goddamn,” Jared swears harshly as he starts a fast and furious rhythm. 

 

There’s no more talking, only the sound of skin sliding together and their groans and harsh breathing. Jared moves a hand between them, but Jensen slaps it away. “Don’t need it.”

 

“Fucking hell,” Jared gasps, grabbing hold of Jensen’s wrists, trapping them against the bed. “Do you even know?”

 

Jensen locks his eyes onto Jared’s. “Yeah, Jared, I swear I do.” He arches his neck, gets a kiss, but Jared’s driving into him too fast and too hard for them to hold it long. “Don’t stop, don’t you fucking stop.”

 

Jared only shakes his head, doesn’t say anything, and he looks so beautiful, all flushed, his eyes bright with desire, Jensen can’t hold back any longer. He barely gets out, “Shit, I’m coming,” before he lets his head fall back against the pillow and he tries to keep his eyes open, but there’s no way in hell he can. The pleasure rolls through him, and he tests the bonds of Jared’s hands against his wrists, but he’s so glad that Jared holds on, keeping him right where he is.

 

It only takes a few more strokes before Jared’s pressing into him hard and deep, his back arching sharply, slowing and letting go of a deep groan, the sound almost animalistic. Jensen rides out Jared’s release with him, the final thrusts and one more kiss. He can feel Jared’s arms shaking and isn’t surprised when Jared pulls out slowly and falls on the bed at Jensen’s side.

 

“You fucking killed me,” Jared says breathlessly.

 

“You? I’m the one that’s not gonna be able to sit for a week.”

 

Jared turns his head and gives him a smirk. “You told me to make you feel it tomorrow.”

 

“Yeah, well, you know what they say.”

 

Jared’s brow wrinkles and it looks like he’s actually trying to figure it out. “Make sure you bring an ass pillow to work with you?”

 

Jensen can’t even try to keep a straight face at that and cracks up, rolling onto his side to face Jared. That is about as far as you can get from the ‘paybacks are a bitch’ he actually had in mind. “What the fuck?”

 

“Well, if you have a sore ass, you want to make yourself comfortable, right?”

 

“You are so ridiculous.”

 

“No, see, you could carry it around with you. Hell, I bet you could even use it in the Impala if you need to, no one would be able to see it on camera.” Jared gives him a sympathetic look. “Aww, Jensen, you want me to go out and buy you an ass pillow?”

 

“You’re a giant freak.”

 

“Yeah, but you love me.”

 

“You bet your ass I do.”

 

“Well, yeah, it has to be mine because yours is broken.” 

 

“By you!”

 

“And don’t you forget it.” Jared turns onto his side and pulls Jensen in close.

 

Jensen relaxes against Jared’s body. “Love you,” he says on a sigh.

 

“Mmm,” Jared hums against Jensen’s ear, kisses his neck and Jensen can feel the smile against his skin. “You think we can stay here forever? Just like this?”

 

“That would be kinda gross after, like, tomorrow. And you’d get cranky after having no food for a few hours.”

 

Jared gives a sleepy giggle as he kisses Jensen again. “I am a little hungry, now that you mention it.”

 

“I’ll go down and order us something.” 

 

He’s about to roll out of the bed when Jared stops him. “Just stay another few minutes.”

 

And really, how can he deny Jared anything? He’s not even going to try. Not anymore.


	2. Chapter 2 - Radiant Reflection

  
Author's notes: Jared's POV - just his thoughts on his favorite subject. And yep, prepare to be schmooped. :)  


* * *

Jared is a morning person. He likes to get up and face the day. The sun shining is like a siren’s song to him, calling him, taunting him that he’s missing something if he doesn’t get up right the fuck now. It’s not that he doesn’t like having lazy days, because it’s the most awesome thing ever sleeping in and burrowing under the covers, especially with Jensen around, which is pretty much all the time now. Since Jensen’s health scare towards the end of last season, it was easy to drop all the bullshit that comes with the beginnings of a new relationship – the careful, tentative steps one usually takes. Jared didn’t even have to try to convince Jensen to move in; it was like Jensen had been waiting to be asked. And Jared loves living with Jensen.

 

During the week, their routine never falters. Jared gets up early to run with the dogs. He first makes a pit stop to make a pot of coffee for Jensen – oh, and of course, getting his first morning kiss. Although, Jensen is never really awake for that. Jared presses a soft kiss onto whatever available skin Jensen doesn’t have under the covers. Sometimes it’s his forehead, others it’s his neck, every once in a while his shoulder. Jensen invariably twitches and snuggles deeper into the covers, and if Jared is really lucky, he’ll get a little moan or grunt out of his lover. Jared will never tell Jensen he finds all of it adorably endearing because he knows Jensen will make a face and call him a stalker or weirdo.

 

Once Jared dresses and gets the coffee started, he’s out the door with the dogs. Sometimes Jensen is awake before Jared makes it back home, which is always a bit of a disappointment to miss Jensen waking up. He loves watching Jensen get up, stretch, scratch his fingers across his chest and down to his stomach, lets loose a jaw popping yawn, then scrub his hand through his hair. His eyes barely open a crack as he shuffles to the bathroom. It’s always the same thing, always in the same order, except for the odd times that Jensen will flip him off and grumble, “Quit staring at me, freak.”

 

That’s never a deterrent, however. Jared always watches, either from the bedroom doorway, or all stretched out on the bed, but usually not because Jensen just uses that as an excuse to crawl back into bed – which if it’s the weekend, that’s cool, but during the week it unfortunately isn’t. Besides, seeing this – his boy, his lover, his partner – is no hardship for Jared.

 

If Jensen isn’t awake, Jared takes him a cup of coffee, sets it on the nightstand – because really, a hand-to-hand transfer before Jensen’s fully awake is so not a good idea. Jared learned that one the hard way. Thousand degree burns on skin from coffee spillage doesn’t make anyone happy, least of all a sleepy Jensen.

 

He wakes Jensen with a gentle shake, a few soft words. If Jensen isn’t facing the nightstand on his side of the bed, he automatically turns that way and when he sees the coffee, he makes a little surprised, happy noise. That’s almost as good for Jared as the first morning kiss. Almost because, yeah, anytime he gets his mouth on Jensen is better.

 

While Jared takes a shower, Jensen changes the bedding if it needs it. That’s another thing they learned the hard way. One morning when Jared didn’t fight Jensen sliding back into bed with him, they had a quick and dirty round of sex, left no spare time for the shower they needed and ended up making Clif wait impatiently out on the driveway for ten minutes as they soaped themselves up and pulled on clothes – not an easy feat when you’re still soaking wet. And Jared may have been giggling a little bit, but that got Jensen smirking and nope, Jared wasn’t going to complain any time he gets to look at that sexiness. 

 

That’s where the fun had ended, unfortunately. It had been a terrible day at work, Murphy’s Law in full affect with one thing or another slowing them down and when they finally dragged their asses home after eighteen hours, all they wanted to do was fall into bed and go to sleep. Yeah, that wasn’t happening because – gross! Jared had flipped the comforter up before they’d left in the morning and by that evening, when they turned down the bed, they’d both had to rear back. It was rank, a mixture of sweat and spunk and Jared didn’t want to think about what else, and the sheets looked worse than they smelled.

 

Jensen had gotten into a snit and gave Jared the horrid clenched jaw/death glare combo and stated he was going to sleep on the couch because somehow having sex that morning had been all Jared’s fault. Jared was tired too, which made him just stupid enough to point out that he wasn’t the one that initiated it and Jensen really did end up sleeping on the couch that night.

 

Nonetheless, Jared had followed Jensen out to the living room but a growled, “Do not even,” from Jensen had caused Jared to back down. They had both been exhausted and there was no reason to turn it into a fight. Jared kept his grumbling about prima donna, jerk boyfriends in his head and marched to the linen closet to get out some fresh sheets. His anger left him as soon as he saw how packed it was. He’d forgotten about the fucked up mind of one Chad Michael Murray. 

 

After Jared had told Chad about getting together with Jensen, Chad had sent what he called ‘it’s about time you two fucktards clued in to what everyone else already knew’ gift. It was a set of sheets. Emerald green because Chad claimed, ‘it’s Jared’s new favorite color.’ Yeah, whatever, asshole. So what if he’d gotten trashed with Chad one night – way before Jensen finally lost his shit and given Jared that awesome hand job in his trailer – and went on for thirty minutes on the color of Jensen’s eyes. Couldn’t anyone give a guy a break when he was so fucking gone on someone, he was all Jared could think about? Apparently not since Chad still rags on him about it to this day and probably will for the rest of his life. 

 

Although, Chad hadn’t stopped at just one set of sheets. Oh no. Chad had a set delivered every day for a month straight. All with some smarmy note attached, like ‘Knowing you perverts, the bed’ll need changing twice a day’ or ‘I can hear you two humping all the way here in North Carolina’. And, of course, each set was some variation of green – stripes, polka dots, flowers, swirley things – Jared couldn’t even fathom that it was possible to come up with that many. They’d just stuffed them into the linen closet and kind of forgot about them. But now it’s going to work out spectacularly because Jared decided then and there that every morning he’d change the sheets, whether they needed it or not. 

 

After a few days, Jensen agreed that it was pretty fucking awesome to come home every night to a freshly made bed and had taken over the job of stripping the bed each morning. It didn’t really take that much more effort than actually making the bed, but unfortunately they both did hate doing the wash. However, because Chad thought he was fucking hilarious, he’d actually made it possible for them to have clean sheets on the bed every day for a month without the intervention of the washing machine. And that’s all it really takes to break that habit, because that’s a shitload of laundry. One month and they’re back to clean bedding just twice a week.

 

It actually isn’t until Jensen is on his second cup of coffee that he actually starts with the intelligent audible stuff. And some people would probably find it amazing that Jared is actually quiet until Jensen gives his first sleep-roughed, “Mornin’,” or a quick thank you kiss is pressed onto Jared’s lips. But really, it shouldn’t be any surprise at all because you don’t need to talk to communicate. Even though Jared loves mornings and Jensen hates them doesn’t mean they don’t find the best possible way to work through them together.

 

Invariably, Jared’s most favorite time is when they are about ready to walk out the door to leave for work. Jensen is fully awake and ready for some gropage of his own. Jared’s lost count of how many times he’s gotten in the SUV with a hard-on, and yeah, sometimes he bitches about it, but Jensen always takes care of him later in such awesome and eye-crossing ways, that it’s usually only a token bitchfit. And you better believe he knows how to throw an epic one if needed. Hell, Jared’s monster freak out is what got Jensen to finally fess up that he was in love with Jared and make a commitment to them as a couple. But none of that is needed here. Whatever complaint Jared voices always gets a snarky response from Jensen though, goading him on the way to the SUV, digging for a laugh – and let’s face it, Jensen never has to try too hard because he’s pretty damn good at it. Besides, who doesn’t like a little anticipation?

 

Jensen’s pretty damn diverse in his ways of getting Jared off while they’re at work. Jensen finds the best hiding spots, that are just public enough to be exciting but also allows them enough privacy and time to both get some satisfaction. They almost got busted last week by Eric, one of the new PAs. Now Jensen just smirks whenever they see Eric, throws an arm over Eric’s shoulder, asks how he’s doing, did he catch the game last night and so on. Jared’s response is to laugh because poor Eric has no idea that this is a type of foreplay for Jensen. There are times that Jared thinks that Jensen believes he is duty bound to keep Jared hard and ready for him twenty-four-seven, but as Jensen always says, paybacks are a bitch, and Jared isn’t above one-upmanship. He knows a few wild and wicked ways to keep Jensen hard and wanting and begging, too. Jared doesn’t know of a more gorgeous sight than that.

 

So, no, he’s never minded mornings. Now he has even more reason to love them. In fact, he’s pretty sure he’s the luckiest son of a bitch on the face of the planet. He gets to start his day, work with and fall asleep with the person he loves the most.


End file.
